She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
