and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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