somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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