we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
