Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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