Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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