I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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