tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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