My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
