im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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