You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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