I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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