You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
