just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
