I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
