I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
