U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
