Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
