yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
