you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
