How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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