it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
whose parrot is this?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
