So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
