Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
