drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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