I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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