you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She needs sedatives and a leash
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
