It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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