FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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