It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
