Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
