Life is so much better after having sex.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
