I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
