Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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