Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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