ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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