dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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