How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
