I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
