4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
