Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
