Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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