Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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