My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
