also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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