He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
