I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
