marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
