Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
In America we eat man semen.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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