i jhust puked up my retainher.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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