If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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