4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
